Her Parents’ Daughter

“Tell her, classes are more important. She is anyways coming home for Diwali.” Mira said while leaving the room.
 “I heard her Dad” said a disappointed voice from the other end of the phone. 
Vinayak gave “the looks" to his wife and put on his “I am your friend not Dad” hat to console their daughter. “I know this semester’s subjects are not that interesting. But don’t miss collage for this party. It is going to be boring. Mom’s colleagues and friends. All adults, you will be bored. Not worth the trouble that’s all. Listen, I am getting late for work. I will call you later. Take care beta.”

 He picked up his shoulder bag, car keys and left the room to join Mira at the breakfast table. Next thirty minutes were dragged with trivial small talks, tip toeing around the topic of the hour.
 “Vinu, I just think a little distance would do good. Of course I want her to be around. But she needs to learn discipline and get more serious about studies. Boarding school decision was ours, not mine alone” Mira spoke defensively. 
She had rested both her elbows on the table with hands clasped. “I am not saying anything” Vinayak said without looking up at her. “Exactly. You not saying anything, has said a lot. You are stirring your coffee from past five minutes. I can read your face” said Mira getting up from the table. 
Vinayak looked up, their moist gaze met with with each other. “Miru, we are not bad parents and not at all bad people. We are doing it for her own good. Stop beating your self. You are not guilty of anything” he said, stressing on each word. 
“It sure doesn’t feel like that” said Mira while picking up her stuff and storming out of the kitchen. 

Mira came back from her clinic at around five. She saw, Vinayak’s car was already parked in the garage. He had planned to come home early, to prepare for the party which was to be hosted over weekend. Vinayak was in the back yard, clearing up some old boxes. She froze at the door when she saw him holding the old racket set and getting all choked up. He and Aarna used to play badminton a lot. It was their Sunday routine. Aarna was really good at it. 
“Aarna would have been twenty this year.” thought Vinayak. He looked over at the frisbee they had bought for her. Just like her parents, she was fond of all these outdoor activities. “But Aadya, well, she barely comes out of her room. Always with her headphones. I don’t even remember when was the last time I spent  quality time with her. She is nothing like either of us. How can she even be?” Vinayak laughed at his own thoughts. It is difficult for human beings to accept the truth especially if it is putting themselves in the bad light. That struggle of acceptance manifests into different emotions, for Vinayak it was anger. In the next split second he threw away the rackets and kicked that box of old stuff. Mira came rushing towards him. 
She had always been the stronger of the two. She hugged and held him close, “It’s all right.You only said, we are not bad parents. We will get it right.” 

Poonam came early to help Mira and Vinayak with the set up. “Hey there birthday girl, looking good. Blue again?” Poonam hugged her friend lovingly at the door as Mira welcomed her. 
“Girl?? I am fifty today, Pu. And you are late.” Both of them walked inside the common room. “Speaking of girl, where is yours? Is she coming?” Poonam asked. 
Mira just made a face and Poonam realised she had touched a nerve. After all, their friendship went back to school days. They had been by each others’ side through all the ups and downs. When Aadya’s reckless and rebellious behavioural traits became visible, Mira requested Poonam to counsel her. Poonam was a psychologist, but child physiology was not her expertise. She still agreed as they all wanted to keep this matter discrete. Mira and Vinayak had been through a lot, they did not need  another episode of people in their social circle gossiping around. Aadya’s tantrums at few of the social events had already given people enough to talk about. “Look Mira, I am speaking to you as her doctor now and not your friend. I have been telling you this, pushing her away will not help. You need to be with her to help her though this. She is showing real progress.” 
That sparked a little heated discussion between the two friends, Vinayak also joined the conversation. It was not new; they had been having this discussion for months now. Poonam struck a final blow. “Don’t punish her for not being Aarna”. Immediately realising  that she went a little far, Poonam apologised. 
A door bell saved the heaviness in the room from further thickening. As the guests started pouring in, mood lightened. And then just before they were about to start dinner, door bell rang again. “I will get it” said Vinayak and opened the door. “What a surprise beta. How did you? Why didn’t you tell us?” Aadya entered with a small bag-pack and her guitar; wearing a nice blue dress and heels. With a big smile on her face she went and hugged Mira, “Happy 50th Mom. Liked my surprise?” Mira was happy and startled at the same time, she did not know exactly how to react. “Did you take a flight? When did you book? How did you manage?” She asked while giving a questioning glance at Vinayak. “Ofhoo. Questions later. I have one more surprise for you” she said, while taking out a pen drive from her bag-pack. 
Aadya gathered everyone near the TV and started the video. First picture popped up on the screen; It was of three of them, taken on the day they brought her home. Aadya was barely three years old. It was received with awws and gasps in the room. Then there were series of video messages from Mira’s friends, family and colleagues at the hospital. There were few recent photos of Aadya and Mira; both of them were posing with the head tilted sideways a little. Some one even commented, “Look at her Mira, she has picked up your trademark pose”. Mira and Vinayak were standing in the middle of the room with their hands held tightly. Aadya was standing near the TV, looking at everyone with the same big smile. Mira observed her. She was looking tall today in that blue dress, nicely cleaned up, hair falling on the shoulder. 
Mira was seeing her after almost six months. Suddenly she felt Aadya had grown up and no longer was the teenager who had give them a hard time for the last one year. Interesting how human mind is; when you notice one small thing about some one, suddenly it starts a chain reaction and you start picking on all those finer things which you had missed earlier. Mira realised how Aadya’s wardrobe was also in the shades of blue like hers, how she also wore an anklet in one leg and rolled a hair strand softly behind her ears while reacting to compliments, just like Mira. After the video screening, Aadya played a small self composed song on her guitar, dedicated to Mira. Every one was all in praise for her. Aadya was clearly the show’s topper of the evening. She even mixed up and socialised with the guests over dinner. 
Vinayak was sitting next to Aadya when desserts were served. He was asking her about how she booked her travel, how she managed to contact everyone for the video messages. He observed she had taken out resins from the custard at the side of the plate, just like he had. “Aadu, you too?” He pointed at her plate. “ Yah. I don’t like them in the custard.” she said with her typical bunny rabbit expression. Vinayak chuckled and said encouragingly, “I know, right? Me neither. By the way, don’t tell your Mom.” “Of course. It is our little secret Dad. I have enough of lectures in collage, don’t want one on food habit” Aadya replied excitingly. 
Party was at the fag end; “must get going” and “what a lovely party” conversations were building up. Srikant was discussing with Poonam about one latest article in the Medical Journal. The article was about the role DNA plays in shaping up personality traits and human behaviour. “So Mira, what’s your take? Nature or Nurture? Don’t you think Dr. Sriram’s sample set was not completely representative?” Mira was looking past their shoulders. Aadya was showing her Guitar to Vinayak and explaining some thing. Their smiling and happy faces was all the data point she needed. “They always find a way to balance each other” Mira replied. Srikant didn’t understand the comment, but Poonam did. 
Some one called in for few photos and selfies. Poonam volunteered to take the family photo of Mira, Vinayak and Aadya. That photo did look like three different pieces fitting together, strikingly different shades giving rise to a beautiful modern art. “Great job with the video, dear.  And you have a lovely voice. Your parents are zero when it comes to Art and Music. You are so different than either of them.” One of the guests commented. Everyone laughed at the light leg pulling. Some one took the opportunity to take a jibe, “These two are so quiet and simple folks. I hear you are the chatterbox, the drama queen of the house.” 
While the laughter continued, Aadya’s face lost it’s colour. “You are not their daughter” is what she read through those comments. Mira quickly wrapped her hand around her, pulled her closer and said lovingly, “Well, she is still her parents’ daughter”. 
That three year old, from the picture which was still paused on the TV screen, was smiling in the comfort of having found new parents. 

Overtime

He carefully measured  freshly brewed coffee powder, poured it in a filter and started the espresso machine. The aroma behind the counter just heightened. With lightning speed he took a “Grande” size cup from the shelf and placed it neatly below the espresso nozzle. His actions were swift and mechanical. Although it wasn’t crowded at this hour, he was just so used to this set routine. He was trained in this routine to minimise service time. He was also trained to greet the customers and smile at them. But when the regulars walked inside the cafe every day usually around 8.30 in the late evening, his smiles and greetings were genuine. 

This Starbucks was just convenient for Anushka. It was right in the campus of her office in Brigade Towers. After a long day at work, one cup of “tall Americano with cream” is all what she needed to get her spirits up.But almost all the time, she took a take away in a hurry to avoid getting stuck in traffic on Outer Ring road to her home in CV Raman Nagar. It was only since past few days she had started doing overtime at work and had started opting for “have it here” option.Her spot was also fixed; last side table by the window with a view of the mall, bustling with noise and lights. Coincidently it was Sameer’s favourite spot too. But he has been enjoying late evening coffee at that table for almost a month now. But they never had crossed paths at cafe so much to start a conversation; at times had only exchanged few pleasantries. But today was different, somehow the timings matched and this conversation happened. 

“Do you mind?” Sameer pointed at the empty chair in front of her. Giving quite a deliberate glance over the almost empty sitting area, Anushka replied, “ Sure. Clearly I don’t see any other empty seat”. Taken aback by the mean sarcasm Sameer almost snapped, “Hey. Don’t be rude. Actually this is my usual spot. Don’t bother, I will sit somewhere else”. 

“I am sorry. Didn’t mean to be rude. Please have a seat. This is my Sheldon spot too” Anushka said. With a silent chuckle Sameer settled himself in the chair wondering if he was little out of the line by insisting to sit at that table. 

“So you also come here regularly?” Anushka broached the silence. 

“ Yah. From past couple of weeks actually. Same time, same place”  Sameer smiled. 

“Wow. You seem to be doing overtime at work. Didn’t know you product guys also have to stay this late?” Anushka said it in a little mischievous yet caustic tone.

“Hey, it’s not like only you business folks have so much work on their plate." Words came out of his mouth like darts fired and landed straight into Anushka’s coffee mug. Anushka took the onus on her to swiftly change the topic. 

“ I was just kidding ya. Actually, I like to come here just to catch a little break from everything.”

It could have been his over enthusiastic imagination but he did feel that on this sentence, Anushka’s smile really didn’t reach her eyes. There was more to that “everything” than just work. But shrugging off that thought he too replied with similar “because I am really expected to” smile, “Ya. Tell me about it. Now a days  I actually  look forward to my coffee time here.”

“ I am sorry to have intruded in your lone coffee time then.” 

“Nah nah..Technically I was the one who intruded. Anyways, a fellow coffee lover company is always welcomed.” 

Half completing her sip, Anushka threw the words quite excitedly, “ Let us make a deal. We won’t talk about work at all for the next 30 mins we are here.We will talk about anything else…coffee, other interests, movies…”

“ Deal. Although I have an objection. Why just 30 minutes? I don’t mind staying till they shut the cafe. It’s high time Bangalore should do something about this 11 clock deadline”

“Yah, Only weekend extension is not enough. But I guess it's enough for this break. I don’t think I have a luxury of so much time today. Well, Mr. Sameer, some of us have people waiting at home, so." For some reason she gave a quick glance at her wedding ring as if to make sure it is there. A voice inside was laughing and telling her, “That’s it. That dreadful day has arrived. You have turned into a typical “married” girl, using “family” as an excuse."

“Madam, I have a family  too.” Not just words but he also flashed his phone in front of her with the photo of his wife and a few months old kid. “It’s just…you see…it’s good to catch such breaks”. Rest of the words couldn’t really come out of his mouth, they lingered somewhere in his thoughts. 

“ Yah, I get it. A little time to yourself is much needed at times. And that’s Kartik, right? How many months old now?” She gave a courtesy smile. 

“ Six months.” Both of them were now looking down at their half finished coffee mugs, aimlessly fiddling with the stirrer. Not knowing what exactly to talk to break this silence, Anushka just spoke the first words which she could think of, “But don’t you wait eagerly to get back home and see your little baby?” He knew it was a casual and most natural enquiry yet those words pricked Sameer and then next it was his guilt speaking, “Hey it’s not like I am avoiding going home early. But at times it is too much… gets on your nerve. I…” Then came the realisation of sharing too much when not required and he bit his tongue.  Anushka was taken aback and she almost felt like ducking to avoid those words from falling on her. “ I am sorry. I did not mean that" is all she managed to say. Then again there was that long awkward silence. 

Sameer was not even listening. He was already lost in his thoughts. He was thinking if these are the exact words he should use to talk to his wife.His was the same old story. They were not ready but nobody ever is. But soon they realised that it is a big responsibility. They had to bring so many changes in their lifestyles; less social hang outs and a hectic routine with work and a kid. Everyday he looked at his wife; hopeful, confused, helpless and guilty. And he was met with the same glance. Overtime at work and late evening coffee was just his excuse to stay away from home. He didn’t feel proud about it. Probably most married people do this at some point or the other in their lives. He just felt guilty and helpless. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he can’t handle responsibilities and was acting like a coward. 

Barista’s loud and enthusiastic “Welcome to Starbucks” halted his guilt train. As if woken up from a quick nap, he looked up and met with Anushka’s concerned gaze. She was clearly trying to put two and two together. “Listen, I know it’s none of my business but any trouble at home?” Anushka tried to put up a matured face while in her head little devil was mocking her as if telling her, “You have glass walls, don't throw stones at others”. While she was almost hoping that Sameer will avoid the question and change topic, he just got carried away. Even Sameer was surprised. It was as if his brain had no control over his heart which was pouring out all the pent up thoughts and feelings having found a listening ear after a long time. Sometimes it is just easy to open up to a stranger.

Fortunately the awkward silence was filled by barista’s “Last order” from behind the counter. Slowly the heaviness in the air also dialled down.After patiently listening to Sameer, Anushka took a good one minute to put together her response. “So Sameer, thank you.” That was unexpected. Sameer was not just surprised to hear that but was strangely irritated. He thought Anushka was kidding but she had her poker face. He did not know how to react.

“ No I really mean it. I know you are expecting some sympathy here or advice may be. But you reinforced my decision. Sort of helped me mitigate the tiny guilt I had”

“ Okay, now you lost me. What are you talking about?”

She took a deep breath and said with a tone of a confession. “ So listening to your predicament , I realised there is no point in rushing into these decisions of having a kid until you are ready. I mean why make that child suffer due to our wrong decisions or lack of responsibility, right? I am even more convinced now, about my decision of not keeping it.  You know what, you should talk to Aditya. He wants this baby. We are having a huge fight over it. But who knows if he  also starts doing “overtime” like you when we actually have this kid and I drown myself in work just so that I can  run away from responsibilities?” 

Sameer was baffled and shocked. Out of all the  expected responses,  this was never even on his mind. Anushka had this strange expression on her face; that expression of relief when somebody tells you “It is not your fault”. But Sameer was not ready to take that burden on his shoulder and be the reason or inspiration for ending a life so to speak. This was completely unexpected. How does somebody even react to that? 

“Hey hey hey, now hold on. Don’t thank me and all. It’s your personal decision. I am Pro Choice and all. But it’s not as grave as you are making it sound like. I am stupid. It’s my momentary laps. I will recover for sure. I mean unless you jump into the water you will never learn how to swim. I know I am sounding cliche here but I am just saying don’t make your decision based on one jerk like me. Just be open to both the options. okay?”  Tables were turned. Sameer was actually surprised that he could talk sense.

Anushka just gave a faint smile and nodded. Coffee was over long time back and as both of them realised so was the conversation. Sameer was the first one to get up hurriedly. “ Good night. See you tomorrow at work. And thank you” 

“Will save up a seat for you here” Anushka asked with an unspoken question mark at the end. 

“Amm…I dont think I will be doing overtime from tomorrow" Sameer replied with a clam yet serious face, a face of someone who has just had a self reveleation. As he was about to get inside his car, he looked back. Anushka was standing near her car searching for  keys in her bag. He had this strange thought. He paused for a moment but then immediately shouted, “It was all made up. You said that just to make me realise my mistake without sounding preachy. Right? One brilliant move. There cant be so much of a coincidence. It can't be true? right?" Anushka  just stared right back at him. For the first time today evening she had a mischievous grin on her face which reflected in her eyes. “Why would you say so? It can be true. Good night Sameer. Give my regards to Krithika  and Kartik”. She got inside her car, started the engine and drove away. Sameer looked at her car going away with a confused expression. He was impressed by Anushka’s move and started dialling Krithika as his car took a reverse on a driveway.

Somewhere on the ninth floor balcony of Jain Heights at C V Raman Nagar, Aditya was standing, staring at the city sky line. His phone blinked. “ On way home. I am ready to discuss. Please wait up”.

Back at the acafe, barista had locked up the cafe door. He was about to start his bike when his phone vibrated in his pocket. “ Bhai enough with your overtimes. Come home fast. Mom and Dad are fighting again. I cant take it alone”

Table For One?!

“Thirty things you must do before you turn 30”, “Must haves in your bucket list”, “Be a traveller not a tourist” and many more similar articles, blogs and books have talked about this one thing repeatedly, ” Solo Trip”.These two words themselves  have some free spirited energy in them. Well, something that has inspired almost entire of our generation across the world, how can it escape me?. So here I am, adding my penny to the treasure of wisdom already shared on this topic. What different should you expect from this blog than what has already not been said, written or shown? Well, let’s just say, I attempt to give a real scoop behind the reel life of this glorious animal “Solo Trip”. 

The first and foremost thing you need, is one such article to inspire you. Check. Second and the most important thing; Beg your manager for ten days leave. Start by bringing up “how badly I need a break” in the coffee conversations with your manager. I am sure every one has their own trick rolled up their sleeves. But remember this is the most critical step of embarking on your journey. Now once that is checked, it is time to pick a location. Make a list of all the locations you always fancied going to since childhood or saw in the movies or read on social media. Remove the ones which are off season for your dates of travel, ones which have serious safety concerns and the ones which cannot be covered in the limited duration of your vacation. Now open Trivago or Makemytrip and get the idea of airfare, this will further reduce your list. Now pick one from the small list which is left. You would be surprised how the final destination you select might not sound as fancy to talk about as  Croatia, Peru or Jordan sort of a place. But remember this is about experience and not just about place. So now you are all set to make further itinerary. But before you get ahead of yourselves, you still have one more critical task left, “informing about this solo trip plan at home”. Now if you are thinking , “What lame? Who informs at home?” then you are not one of us my friend. Close the browser window and move on. If your folks are super cool then this task is quite easy and can be done on the day of the journey as a "FYI phone cal". If your folks are average chill, then just get that conversation done with. You do not want  any last minute mood offs with “You should have told us before” comments. But if your folks are normal Indian parents, then get ready for some amusing conversation. “ Solo? Why do you want to go alone? Is it safe? Why are your other friends not coming with you?  That’s why we tell you to get married.At least you will have some companion for travel.Your manager gave so much leave? Then come home. Stay with us. You waste too much money, learn to save. You are not taking care of your health.” So on and so forth. The conversation will end with both the parties agreeing to disagree. ( I really want to talk to those travel enthusiasts  or characters from Bollywood movies on how they manage such conversations with their parents). Now finally you are totally set for that glorious, adventurous  and total brag material trip of your life. 

 Let us skip to the day you arrive at your destination. Really there is no different preparation required between planning and actually getting there. It is as simple as “leave the guns, pack the canoe” kind of preparation. So getting back to the day one at the destination. Now on day one, you can experience two very different kind of feelings: 'A torch bearer of the experience seeking generation of gypsies that we are' or 'shit, it was a mistake, look at these happy people travelling with their friends or family'. My advise, get over both the feelings. As only after that the real coveted feeling sets in: Freedom. Absolute freedom to plan your day, eat, sleep, wear whatever you want, just do what you feel like doing. It doesn’t have to be mingling with locals, or going crazy or trekking on the path unexplored ( Read, advised by some one on Trip Advisor). It can be as simple as lazying around at the beach on a hammock with a good novel or sipping Old Monk looking at snow capped mountains. The important thing is keep no pre expectations if you really wish to enjoy. It sounds good on paper to say, “ I don’t want to be a tourist but a traveller.” But in reality, you are just a solo traveller not a lone wolf. If you see other tourists renting a bicycle and roaming around, just do that. Travelling on your own doesn’t mean you do the opposite or simply unheard activities. It just means you do everything your own way. Now everyone talks about all the positives, the shimmering side of the rainbow. Let me also tell you about some disadvantages. Yes, there are a few. You can’t try that interesting looking local dish without wasting it a little  because now you don’t have that one friend who finishes the left portions.Your slippers and bag have to be now left under the watch of a kind fellow tourist sunbathing or a coast guard or left to  fate when you go in for a swim. There is nobody to take that awesome sunset snap for your social media hashtag post. Again you are at the mercy of a fellow traveller you just made friends with a few hours back. If you are buying that local costume  or a  souvenir, your fashion advisor friend is missing to decide which colour looks better. You will end up buying whatever the shop keeper says looks good on you and which will be practically every thing in his shop. If you are hoping to talk to a cute girl sitting across the bar table or a smart looking guy sitting next to you at  a campfire, you do not have your wingman by the side. You really are going solo here. But then again on the  plus side, since no one is there, nobody has to see how that conversation actually went or that scared look on your face when you bungee jumped or how you made fool of yourself because you did not understand the local accent. Now you can pick and choose the stories you want to tell or not to tell when you go back.  More than that much talked about journey of finding your inner self, it is more about stories you created for yourself. It is quite a feeling I must say when asked “ Any solo rider?” at the roller coaster ride and you walk ahead cutting the queue with head held high. You do get a little more perspective about your life when a soccer mom at the side seat says while putting her child to sleep , “I miss  those days when I just backpacked  across Europe. Make the most of this time in your life”.  There is a certain joy in meeting a fellow solo traveller or a group of backpackers and listening to their stories. It’s like a lost animal returning to its herd and your heart screams, “ I belong here. These strangers understand me so well.”  In nut shell this much hyped “solo trip” is nothing but having that time and space which is not  the middle ground of a discussion  but is completely and truly yours. 

“ Miss, your table is ready”.  I close my laptop and get inside the restaurant. “So, table for one?” He asks with a confused smile. “Table for one!”  I respond proudly while smiling from my heart.