Not today…

Someday I will find my peace.

Even in the things I dearly miss.

For the things that I never had, what’s the point in being so sad?

Someday I will come to terms with the half filled glasses and empty spaces. 

But not today.

Someday I will try to change what I don’t like. 

Someday I will find the missing piece of the puzzle or at least the dots will join.

I will chase the days and not dreamy nights. I will create smiles on their faces and not just word arts.

Someday acceptance will come at no cost, and “what if” will be amusement and not the path that’s lost.
Someday. 

But not today.

Today, just take me away. 

To a faraway land, where no one would know my name and where I come from. 

Where my fantasies would be realities just for a while long. 

Where I would tell my tales to bring smiles, 

where people would not read name tags but eyes. 

I would find my fountain of small joys. 

I would return home without needing stars to guide.

Someday. 

But not today. 

Oh not today. Today just let me be.

Right where I am with my random musings. 
Today just let me drift. 

Oh today.Just for today.

Almost

I don’t have a yellow umbrella. I did go to them with a blue French horn but they decided not to come to the window. I do take a peek from my window once in a while, maybe, just maybe…I socialise at parties with a ballot box costume, no luck yet. I am waiting for my Goliath National Bank building to happen; which someday I will point at and say-‘This is my creation’. I am almost there, but just almost. 

In this series of missed chances, mistakes and wrong choices, some wins and but most failures, nothings and broken heart pieces, do you know how I survived and what kept me going all these years? It was you Ted. 

You taught me to make mistakes even though I knew it was one; because I had to, to learn. You inspired me to still go on, to doubt and yet believe in everything. Even though Universe is too busy with important things, I still look for signs from it. Somewhere may be I will spot my yellow school bus or bass guitar and find my calling. You made me feel okay to be scared, to take chances and to hopelessly cling on to hope. 

There was a profound truth in what you said about beauty in the unfinished arts. And along the way I came to terms with my ‘almosts’, almost started loving them.  

I know one day a moment will come when I will look back and all the dots will be connected. I know one day I will walk into the classroom full of students and I will know this is where I belong. I know one day when I am almost ready to leave, I will find him at the platform with a yellow umbrella in hand. It will be your voice which will tell me to go and say, “Hi.”

Until then I am picking up every lucky penny, cherishing a locket as a sign from the  Universe and living in my almost…

Inglorious Battle

Once in a while comes that day,

When Empire strikes and Death Eaters block my way.

For next door neighbour, it is just a Saturday;

To friends & family, I sound happier than weekday.

Little do they know, I am desperate to find a wand,

barely even holding lightsaber in my hand.

“Obi-wan Kenobi, you are my only hope.”

“Remember to tun on lights” Dumbledore, you once told.

But where are you two when I need you the most?

For universe this is a meaningless flake, 

But for me, my entire world is at stake. 

I know I am not a superhero and to call myself a ‘victim’ will be gutsy. 

May be a fool wounded by reality and locked up in fantasy?

Well now. It is just me. Nothing less, nothing more.

Deep breath. Count till five. Defying gravity, here I dive.

The only super power I hope I have, I bring it to my aid.

The false army of my vanity is already dead. 

Armed with only my pen and words, I conjure up the spell of thought.

On the scared home ground of ink &  paper, my inglorious battle is fought. 

Wounded. Beaten. Exhausted. Dishearten. 

I wonder if I want the day to end or begin again.

Because my tomorrows always hold a promise;

a promise of a new battle…

Curled up in bed, scrambling for strength

until dreams take the pain &  pen away-

Then again, every once in a while comes that day,

When Empire strikes and Death Eaters block my way.