Shade of grey...!

We grew up with the stories in which “right” fought with “wrong” and triumphed at the end. Our stories had evils torturing people and angels rising to finish the evil to restore peace. Our films had a villain who did bad things but our hero would set things right. That’s how all our stories were… and that’s what they are…stories. As we grew up and understood the reality behind the myth of tooth fairy, Santa Clause, rabbit on the moon, one more myth was busted wide open. Myth of right & wrong; we were told to speak truth and never lie. But no one told us about this third animal-“perspective”. Now our movies no longer have hero and villains. Stories are not Ramayana but Game of Thrones. No battle is fought with good and bad on two sides of the line. No battle ends with clear win. You don’t know which side to take, what you can take is only perspective. As we grew up, world was no longer white and black. It is colorful indeed, but all colors emerge and submerge into only one single shade- Shade of grey.

We have known this all along. Much has been written and said about this “grey shade”, then why this epiphany today?  Lets just say today I decided to wonder on the most philosophical yet practical question- what are we doing to our world? And most importantly, what the hell am I doing with my life?

So we study about ethics and morals in management classes and it is expected from us to save the world from future Enrons and Satyams. But the moment we enter in this corporate world, these ethics are redefined, rewritten and presented before us under the grey cover. I guess Marketers have now successfully earned the crown, of “most hated & criticized” species. They say we sell lies and broken hopes, we manipulate people for our business. We marketers (not sure if I am proud to include myself in that “we”) claim that everything is fair in the business. We don’t hold people at gunpoint and ask them to buy, people need these products and we give them. This is how business works, this is how economy works and we all are part of it. We tell boys that they need some awesome deodorant to win hearts. Everyday we uncover some new insecurity of women & offer them “solutions”; Our products make them strong & independent women of today and not their own will and talent. We sponsor biased clinical research, play with legal loopholes and launch the products which will cause more harm than good but we promote them playing on your emotions. But what do you do? You discuss these cheap tricks under the fancy name of “insights”, effective communication strategies and positioning. You praise us, applaud us, make case studies out of us, and buy our products. And the moment you feel cheated you blame us.

And why am I taking the side of these “marketers”? Because I am about to become one of them; because our companies swear by “their top and bottom lines” that they are concerned about society and they follow ethical practices. But my question here is whose ethics? How do you really define these ethics? You paint it in capitalists’ colors and you really can’t show any black or white here. At the end of the day you find yourself standing in that grey area. But as a management student being exposed to ethics and values day in day out, as a youth with aspiring dreams to make this world a better place, do I really want to stand in this grey area? Or most importantly, do I really have an option?

The debate over ethics is never ending. But I am sure there are many souls like me who are chasing their corporate dreams and are struggling to get the right perspective, struggling to decide at which side of the line they want to stand. For all those who advise the souls like us not to think too much or not to get into corporate world at all; well, avoiding the conflict or running away from it is definitely not an answer. This is one color, which is so integrated with every aspect of our lives, there is really no getting away from it.

Till the time I find my rationale, logical, universal code of values to follow and find my line of ethics, I claim in the words used by the author of Virtue of Selfishness:

“ I refuse to be wholly good and please do not regard me as complete evil.”

Not so "Social".Media.

             “Man is a social animal. You know what does that mean? We all need friends. It is fun to interact with people, you get to learn new things…” No, No. This is not some dialogue from “me too” novel of undergrad kid. I was in second standard when my parents got a complaint that I stay aloof and do not mix with other students. After the above little pep talk, well, I decided to make an effort to be a “people person”. And, guess what now I just enjoy talking to people (even if they don’t feel the same). I have 738 friends on Facebook and 25 followers on twitter. Wait, this is not how I was supposed to tell this story.

                               So, the story begins in 2005. I was in junior college, and someone told me about Orkut. Till then my internet usage was limited to surfing Wikipedia (yah, right!), and sending email to cousins in US (asking for Harry Potter original copy & I love NYC T shirts). But now I was able to “script” with my friends whom I practically met everyday. “Orkutting” was the new term I had learnt. For me it was the coolest thing until…until Facebook happened. Now it was all about “Liking” and “posting”. “Social networking site” was the buzzword. Though I didn’t understand the purpose of networking with the friends I already knew or random profiles raising apprehensions. Still… C’mon, now I could just update my status and let people know "I was watching movie" or  "I am feeling blue",  I could collect points in Farmville, take “Which Friends character are you?” quizzes, I could brag about new haircut or make others jealous by updating status like “ With the coolest gang @ most happening place”. I mean seriously how else would I have learnt all these things if not for Facebook. People were also bragging about twitter handles, but this was a small bunch then and nobody really knew what purpose twitter solved apart from the fact that it was “cool” to have a twitter handle. Now they were trimming their FB status messages and twitting.

            It was until I started working when I was exposed to this complete spectrum of social networking sites, Linkedin, Blogspot, Youtube, forums. Facebook also had new improved functionality; using free time in office (strictly avoiding the word wasting or killing) and catching up with long lost friends(who were working in the same city). Also I started writing my poems and short stories on a blog and hoped that some random stranger would stumble upon this link and read. (It is definitely less desperate than begging your friends to read and appreciate your writing)     

                          By this time I thought I knew all that is to be known about this “social media” until marketing @spjimr (#spjimr?) happened.Connecting with admissions committee for queries and getting to know your batch mates before joining; these online forums and my dear old friend Facebook showed their true power.  And then one fine day…bam! Lightning struck. I have started studying subjects like Integrated Marketing communication and Social Media Marketing. Believe me, my “e-world” is completely changing now. I can, not only Google something but also find out its search trend over the years across geographies. There are statistical parameters to measure Facebook activity. Right from helping me select a cup of coffee (Consumer behavior analysis though tweets and likes) to conveying my random thoughts to the random e-world out there, Twitter can do it all! This social media is like this powerful tool or like a completely new world of immense possibilities. Google is coming up with “Glass” device. You can look at a person through this glass and you can literally get a “social media print” of a person and know everything about him/her. They claim this will make conversations with strangers interesting. (Yah, right?! Like we are always hoping to talk to random people on the street about their pet dog or a latest fashion purchase). Now that I think about this whole “social media” journey, I think it also in a way  has practically shaped the “social behavior” of our generation. Liking, preferences, lingos, the way we interact with people, everything. And this is THE next big thing, a way forward.             

                                      But I personally feel at times that I am standing at the cross roads, more like a highway and a small lane you can say. The highway, where I  am learning all about the power of social media, how it’s turning the business model, how it is becoming a critical part of IMC…in short how it is changing the whole world, as we know it. On the other side there is this “people ...actual people lover” me standing in the lane, lane connecting to the past, to much simpler world of my childhood. I know, that farther I will go on the highway, more I will be disconnected from this simpler, “real” world, I will miss interacting with people personally, the whole thrill in the mystery of not knowing about certain people you see or coloring stories for fun about people you meet will be lost. I will miss observing human behavior, interacting and finding new things about people, I will miss normal hangouts with friends where “uploading pictures on FB” and “checking in “ is not the purpose of the meet. I will probably be one of those few carrying a hard cover paper book walking alongside kindles. But then, this highway is THE road to future. Choice is easy. Glass there is more than half full.

And who knows one day, I will pass on the wisdom to the next generation, “ Man is social (media) animal”

Ushering in People-archy!

                          It was a time and not long ago when “business of business was to do business, when money was the only driving factor and margins were sacred, when dept of hierarchy was worshiped and an employee thinking out of the box was ignored,when company was the supreme entity and customer was just a source of income. And then, in this era of “pure business”, few rebellions were born. They broke all the dogmas and talked about values. They uttered the taboo words-“worshiping the customers". They talked about not just technical but people skills. Business world was going through a new paradigm shift where values and organization culture was given a due credit of success.

Enterprise today has entered into this new era centred on “people”, “idea” and “values”. From experiential retailing to participative decision making, from customers’ feelings to employees’ breakthrough ideas, it’s all about people. This path breaking transition is still in progress. This decade has seen an authority ladders going down and organizations becoming flatter. “Innovation” is the new key to success and “People first” is the new mantra. With so much changing so fast, what does tomorrow hold for us?  How will tomorrow’s enterprise be run? 

                              I guess the future lies in understanding the true definition of business; it is not about money making by the sole owner or an entity, it is about profit or gain for each and every internal and external stake holder connected to that business. And this gain need not be just monetary always. To achieve this wider objective, enterprise should include all the stake holders in the organizational process. And equally encourage them to contribute towards this objective. Well, the evolving leadership and governance styles and company policies today are very well doing that. Then what is that we expect from tomorrow?  We expect this “people” focus to become more intense, the aspect of culture and organizational values to become much stronger, binding the employees and customers together with this non tangible entity called enterprise.

                             With creating a free and fun work environment to facilitate genesis of new ideas, doing away with formal cubical structures and bringing in bean bag culture, giving employees’ power to choose their carrier path, profile and working style, companies like Google has already started the dawn of this tomorrow.

                        Why do start ups take an accelerating growth path under favourable conditions? Why a person works more passionately for a work which incorporates his/her own opinions and ideas? It’s the sense of ownership, the sense that “I care for this organization and its mine” which drives people to work passionately rather than any monitory, power or carrier growth rewards.

          Giving employees a participation in organizational process to much higher extent, grooming them and assigning a mentor if required, transparency  and aligning individual values to organizational culture as a whole can very well be some of the ways of future “best business governance” practices.

                       Future of management is right here, in our hands. We know our theories and frameworks. We have laid enough structures and designed strategies. It is time to put all these basics into a whole new dimension...dimension of incorporating this very important “human” factor, which will run and direct the future of enterprises. Organizations’ destination might be the monitory objectives and the headlights leading there may be all the strategies but the wheels driving till there are “the people”.

People- archy is here!

Rise Again...

Some of us walk on thrones with a wronged destiny

Flowers they see on our abode but only we laugh at irony.

Some nights are darker with no hope for a day to start

What we fondly created, seems to be  falling apart.

When tougher is such time, awaken that spirit in you

Rooted on strong ground, you are one of those few.

Don’t take all the blame, share some with universe

Higher are your spirits don’t lose it to fate’s curse.

Not alone you are, fellow traveler; together we will fight

For every wrong we got, our strength will make it right.

Dreams shall be rebuilt, not all good shall go in vain

From the purest of our tears, smiles shall rise again.

With heart I think...

Confusion at heart with clear mind,

Choices I make and regret I take,

With  heart I think or for mind’s sake?!

I go ahead with impulse of heart,

But second thought this mind throws.

I ponder then “if only, to convince when doubt grows.

Behind that light when shadows hide,

Reflection seems so true, not projection of mine.

Darkness becomes soul mate of eternal sunshine.

Questions too many, answers I search

In the mellee of hopes n facts, now as I sail distances far

That light at the distant coast becomes the guding star.

When your dream calls...

Life is not always a battle; it’s not even always a melody.

Sometimes it is just a phase between action and steady.

You try hard for “self revelation” only to find who you want to be

Standing in front of the mirror, are you really that person you see?

You seek that passion to drive you, something to stand up and die for

Still caught up in being ordinary, that foolishness seems near, yet so far.

This order and set path is not good enough; chaos is more exciting,

You hope it will be larger than life; a greater cause of your being.

Defy logic, go with impulse and take the plunge when your dream calls.

Go with the flow till then and you will get to choose your triumphs and falls.

Roles beyond sketches...

(From the chapters of : Being Better than the Best...story of coveted "MBA Life"...)
They say, “Theater is not just about acting who you are not, it is about discovering who you really are”. It was one fancy line for me until Gasp happened. I had my share of acting in school. Instead of following that “acting”, I continued doing some “nautanki” in under grad -college. Of course it will not be regarded as a much of a theater experience. But, this Gasp, it sure is real.

Gasp- legacy guild of actors in SPJIMR, when I heard about it from seniors, it meant just another club to me. When I joined this coveted clan, initially, it was just another extra curricular activity foe me. A cult… drama …acting…nautanki…legacy…people gave many names for this. But for me, as the days passed, it became a journey I never wanted to end, a self-exploration, and an attempt to find who I am.  There are very few things in life I am emotionally attached to; Gasp is one of those few now.

Any initiative, activity and event in B School are to be invariably somehow linked to the management lessons, it’s an imperative. Of course Gasp can’t escape this. But I respectfully disagree and choose to make an arrogant statement here -“I didn’t not learn much about management jargons and frameworks. What I learnt is far more precious and valuable than any management lessons.” I learnt to trust people, deal with people, to look beyond first impressions and perceptions. I learned how to handle unexpected, how to convince the expected.  I realized how showing emotions is not a weakness and hiding some is not a strength. (I learned how to cry, literally) I learned how to shed shackles of selfishness, look at the good side of people and take the best from all. Criticizing someone is easy but praising is difficult, when I can easily praise someone yet be honest in opinion that’s the time I know I have achieved that maturity of thoughts and emotions. When odds are many, more than any crisis management or problem solving strategies what we need is to believe  that we can beat those odds. (And, no, all these thoughts are not inspired from Swamiji’s Gita Shibir video. They are self-experienced thoughts put into words)

Now that Gasp is over. Hell, three days are passed. Appreciations have died down. But the hangover is still there. If I speak about it, people say,” enough now.” Or “ too much senti stuff you talking about. Stop it” or  “ Ho gaya, kab tak Gasp gasp karte rahoge”. I don’t answer them, because I know they won’t understand. Nobody can fathom how terribly I miss it.

Now that I wonder, what is that I truly miss? Team members? Practice sessions? Script? Role I played? Acting? I can’t really pin point on one thing. It is this all and something beyond all this. I miss myself. I miss that drive, passion and commitment  to do something. It felt right, kicking and alive. I miss being alive in true sense.

 There is a long silence now filled with nostalgia. I know it’s just a matter of days and Gasp might become just another event we did. Within couple of days I will submerge into the pool of mundane, routine academic work and the intensity of these feelings will drastically reduce. It is just a phase and it will pass sooner than I think of.  But to be honest, I don’t want this feeling to go away. Dwelling in past is not good, but leaving yourself in past is worse. Now I look desperately to attach myself to something else. Amidst of all academic work, I aimlessly search for some work where I can put all that passion again, I can just throw myself into it drown all my time in it and at the end of the day it will feel like doing some real work I enjoy the most. Can I really find something like this ever… ever in life again? Can I really find myself again?

Now I know the reason why they say, life is a bigger stage. We all play different roles, sometimes struggle for perfection, sometimes execute them to best. We choose some roles; some are just given to us. They are mere sketches handed over to us and we color them the way we want. Good actor is the one who knows when to leave which role and when to take up another, how to transform between the roles. Isn’t life all about that?

But then dialogues get over, acts come to an end, curtains fall and the show is now ended. What next? Another show? Another day, rise and shine. Take up new sketch and color a new role for yourself. Well, words are easy to pen down but are actions really that easy?

All good things come to an end and life teaches you to let go and move on…but moving on from who you are, letting go a part of you? Can we really do that?

Unspoken...

And till yesterday, I was walking down that memory lane,

Altering reality in mind, wondering if things would have been same.

Clouded was that image, of him walking away without a goodbye?

I made peace with unspoken words, with broken heart and its cry.

Then today, you walked up to me with bold smile yet timid eyes,

I came out of dark lanes and somewhere there was a sunrise.

Wearing heart on sleeves was never really my thing,

But lost in your beautiful words, I did feel something.

So different you were, than that faded image in my mind

Wise looks on face, enigma you were, of some kind.

I gave my hand to you, walked with you in crowed,

Searched for reasons to talk, I just wanted you around.

Just as I dream of dreams, this reality comes striking,

It’s I who always talk,you only seem to be listening.

You never walk with me, though I am beside you,

You never take a step closer, your smiles are also few.

Yet I will take a plunge, fall will hurt, I know.

But breaking walls around heart, I am ready to let go.

This time I am sure, that words will find their way,

Nothing will be unspoken...till a long wait for your say..

Tryst with Destiny...

“ Leelabai, aaj fal nako” I screamed, when I saw her at the gate. It was a hot summer afternoon and I was sitting by the window. Hearing the rejection, she pitched for some fresh and sweet fruits she had...this was usual…then with a signature good bye of “me udya yein parat” (“I will come again tomorrow”), she left. Leelabai, a door-to-door fruit seller in our locality.An aged woman, must be in her sixties, calm face, not displaying much emotions, a stoop in a posture but a strong and hardworking built.

I remember her coming to our house since …well, since my childhood probably. Be it a summer afternoon, a rainy day or a cold winter, she used to come, everyday, even on Sundays. She was a part of our daily routine. Her timing was also almost fixed. 1 pm in the afternoon. I don’t really remember her talking much, nothing other than about fruits.

Most of us didn’t know anything about Leelabai apart from her name. Once I asked Mom, out of curiosity and what I found out was very surprising and yet humbling in many ways. Leelabai was a widow, whose widowed daughter was working as a nurse in a nearby hospital. Her grandson was doing MBBS at JJ Hospital, Mumbai. Leelabai was selling fruits to fund her grandson’s fees in whatever way she could.

It was a fine evening of April 2009. Mom gave me mithai, which I was almost about to keep down with frowning face. Then I was told that Leelabai had given that mithai. Her grandson got a job at a hospital in Mumbai. Now she wouldn't have to sell fruits anymore, she was moving to Mumbai to stay with him. She was relieved from all her troubles and miseries. I couldn't even imagine the happiness of that proud grandmother. An evanescent thought appeared in mind, that I should have bid her a proper farewell. 

Diwali of 2009 was just like usual for everyone, a festival of light and hope. One afternoon, just when we were about to start our lunch, we heard a usual call, “Bai, kahi deu ka?” (“Madam, do you want anything?”). Leelabai?!... Excited to know all about her stay in Mumbai, about her grandson’s job, we went to open the door. There she was. Looking frail, tired and exhausted than ever, her eyes had gone deep, standing testimony to sleepless nights and stoop in her posture was more visible now. It seemed as if she had aged by ten years suddenly. With a lot of trouble she put down the heavy basket of fruits from top of her head. Shock and concern replaced all the excitement on our faces. “Kay deu?” (What do you want?”). She asked, oblivious to our question marks.Struggling to find correct words Mom asked her, “ When did you come from Mumbai? How long are you here?”…She looked up. Phrase which I had read only in books, “Seeing pain in someone’s eyes”, I experienced it that day. Leelabai sat down, railing back on the wall.

“ I was waiting at Dadar station for Raghu, my natu (grandson). My daughter gave me this small telephone, without wire, to contact Raghu. He called me on that phone and told that he and his friend were reaching station in 15 minutes. He asked me to wait a little more. I was waiting…waiting for hours. He didn’t come. No call. Then a boy came searching for me. He looked of my Raghu’s age. He was Raghu’s friend. He took me to Raghu’s hospital. I was tired of waiting and scared of crowed. But, I was about to meet my grandson, so I didn’t care. But I also wanted to scold Raghu, for keeping me waiting for so long. In the hospital room, his friends, some big doctors, they were all standing there and there he was, my Raghu, lying dead on a stretcher. His taxi met with an accident while he was on his way to pick me up. He is gone. Everything is gone. I am back to Nagpur now, to stay here until God calls me to stay with him.” She closed her eyes and wiped a rolling tear with a corner of the padar of her saree.

I don’t know what happened next. I don’t know any details as to how did she manage everything alone. Is she going to continue selling fruits? Where is she going to stay? I know nothing, because I ran inside. I just didn’t have the heart to wait there. After some 20 minutes, I heard her say “Udya yein parat”.

How much we convince ourselves that eventually it all ends well, that HE has pre written our destinies and HE gives everyone their share of happiness. Some times it’s hard to comprehend this so called destiny and wicked tricks it plays.

I never met Leelabai after that. For quite a few days, she continued to come to our house though, selling fruits like usual. After couple of months, routine was broken. She stopped coming to our locality. I could never find out what happened to Leelabai?  Is she still selling fruits? Is she staying with her daughter?  How is she managing at such an old age?   

Life moved on, everybody got busy with their own lives. For most of us, a fruit seller Leelabai is lost in the time and for some of us she still remains in the fragments of our memory. But there is one thing, from that day, I still very much vividly remember. Even after being hit by such a devastating tragedy, she got back on her feet, embraced life, challenged destiny and said, “ I will come back again tomorrow”.

Twisted by Reality...

Twisted by reality, slave of the truth you are

Pure is the lie spoken, its the intention taken far.

Fearless is your heart, mind makes it weak

Biased is your vision, shows what you seek.

Not the consequences but let choices guide your actions.

Conscience is all that matters, why take others sanctions?

Why should they decide, your wrong and their right?

Why even take stand between peaceful struggle or a fight?

It’s heroic to follow your heart, but it may not be always.

Going with the flow with heart on sleeves, also pays.

For the words and beyond...

Experiences, moments, feelings, expressions, emotions…their identity is not complete without you, their existence is not meaningful if not for you!

When I discovered you and depth of your power, your existence, I actually discovered myself through you. If not for you, world would have been just a space bounded with speechless lives struggling to device their purpose.

You don’t judge, you don’t demand. You don’t expect anything, you accept everything. You are at times so simple yet with so much depth. Sometimes you are too complicated but with simplest meaning to convey. You paint the reality and equally depict the fantasy.

I came to you just like anybody else; we met just as it’s supposed to be in the course of everyone’s life.  But now, the more I know you, more you become that very centre in my life, about which everything revolves. Never realized when you became this integral part of me.

You express me so much better than what I could have ever done.  You depict my emotions, sometimes even the ones, which are unknown to me. You become the way I want you to be. You give purpose to my wandering dreams, integrity to my thoughts and sense to my heart. Devoid of grace was this soul so far, you gave the way to salvation.

In those crowded streets or at animated discussions with people around, on the cool breezy lone evenings or in the dreamy nights, when on cloud 9 or at the bottom of the dejected pit of mine, I know for sure, if not anybody, you are always there for me. My destiny is tied to you. In the path of life ahead, you are the fellow traveler, you are the destination and only you are the driving force.  No matter where I go, what I do in life, whether I mange big fat salary job and become a big shot person or I just lead a social life of normal human; I know you and your presence will make a difference. You will bring my lost soul to senses, my heart will try to drift away but you will always get it back on way.

It’s YOU, I owe my life to, my very passion and the essence of my presence on this cosmic platform. After me, it’s you, who will keep my existence alive through you.

This is neither a eulogy I am offering nor an acknowledgement. I can’t offer you something, which, incepts from you, which is already yours.  I am just offering selfish ME indebt to YOUR selfless presence.

Biggest irony here is any offering I make to you; I have to make it through you.

How cam I possibly write, express, feel anything without YOU , O’ dear WORDS

My dear words,  I am truly, deeply and by all complete sense …yours.